INV-000001-PATRIARCHY

Accounts Receivable · Department of Reckoning

The Patriarchy
Owes Me.

An itemised invoice for the labour you forgot to charge for. Backed by data from the ILO and UN Women.

Adjust the sliders. Watch the bill come due.

Chapter 1

The invisible infrastructure

If you stopped doing it, they'd notice.

7 h/wk
5 h/wk
3 h/wk
4 h/wk
2 h/wk
3 h/wk
15 h/wk
2 h/wk
1 h/wk

Chapter 2

Pregnancy, birth & the aftermath

“Glowing” is not a compensation package.

30 yrs

Cramps, supplies, ruined sheets, planning around. Billed at the going rate.

1
14 hrs
6 mo

Chapter 3

Years you've been doing this. Your billing rate.

5 yrs
€30/h

Pick your worth. The market certainly hasn't.

PAST DUE

Official Invoice

Issued by: You

Billed to: The Patriarchy

INV-000001-PATRIARCHY

Service rendered
Amount

Menstrual management services

30 yrs × 13 cycles × ~6 hrs of cramps, supplies, laundry & logistics.

“Just take a paracetamol.” Invoiced separately.

70.200 €

Uterus rental

1 × 9 months, premium incubation. Custom-built human inside.

“But you glowed!” — not a payment method.

13.500 €

40 weeks pregnancy management

1 pregnancy × full-time body modification, nausea ops, social endurance.

“Eat more crackers” is not a coping strategy.

33.600 €

Labour & delivery (specialist rate)

1 delivery × 14 hrs. Pain tolerance at consultant level.

Unmedicated bonus not included in this estimate.

4.900 €

Breastfeeding & pumping services

1 baby × 6 mo × ~2.5 hrs/day. 24h availability not negotiated.

Also performed while answering emails.

13.500 €

Culinary services & meal planning

7 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

Includes googling “quick dinners” at 6pm.

54.600 €

Domestic cleaning & sanitation

5 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

39.000 €

Laundry, folding & textile care

3 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

Folding his shirts is not a love language.

23.400 €

Dishwashing & kitchen reset

4 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

31.200 €

Procurement & grocery logistics

2 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

Plus remembering what ran out.

15.600 €

Life admin & household management

3 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

Bills, appointments, forms, the school WhatsApp. Unpaid CEO work.

23.400 €

Childcare & mental load operations

15 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

The mental load is the job inside the job. Neither is paid.

117.000 €

Clothes retrieval from floor

2 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

Also known as reverse laundry.

15.600 €

Closing jars and cupboard doors

1 h/wk × 5 yrs at €30/h

7.800 €
Subtotal (documented labour only)463.300 €
Emotional labour surcharge (estimated, you know why)69.495 €
Total outstanding532.795 €

Interest accruing daily. No late fee waived.

One more thing, while we have the receipts.

Optional. Anonymous. Takes 30 seconds.

How old are you?
What's your relationship status?
Have you ever actually brought this up with your partner?

The footnotes

Why this matters beyond the joke

Globally, women perform 76% of all unpaid care work (ILO, 2018). If valued at minimum wage, it would add $10.8 trillion to the global economy annually. The gender pay gap widens most sharply at first childbirth — economists call this the child penalty. This calculator uses real domestic-service market rates, not minimum wage. Because your labour deserves market rate.

The Receipts · Real Data, Not Vibes

We didn't make this up.

$10.8T

Annual value of unpaid care work performed by women worldwide — three times the global tech industry.

Source: Oxfam, 2020

4.5×

Hours of unpaid care work women perform compared to men, on average, every single day.

Source: ILO, 2018

77¢

Earned by women for every $1 earned by men globally — a gap that hasn't meaningfully closed in two decades.

Source: UN Women, 2023

16.4B

Hours of unpaid care work performed globally every day. Paid at minimum wage, that's $11 trillion a year.

Source: ILO Care Work Report

2 of 3

Adults living in extreme poverty are women and girls. Care responsibilities are a top driver.

Source: UN Women

131 yrs

Estimated time to close the global gender gap at current pace. We don't have 131 years. We have receipts.

Source: WEF Global Gender Gap 2023

So what now?

“The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.” — Gloria Steinem (who, for the record, would absolutely send this invoice)